Each time we survive the loss of a love, any kind of love, life takes on new meaning. We hurt, we cry, we learn, we grow. We promise ourselves that the next time around, we will be smarter and wiser and we are. . . . . until the next time.
We meet someone new, someone we care about and then for some strange reason, all logic and reasoning seem to take flight and we become void of any sound reasoning. We seem to hear what we want to hear and disregard what we don’t want. We see our loved one through our own personal filter and they look wonderful. Life is good, we are in love. Finally, there is hope that this life of ours will actually work out. Finally.
And then, somewhere in the journey down the road with our beloved, there’s a bump and a little further down there’s a dip and then an unexpected curve in the road.
As darkness descends on the relationship, the night air thickens with a foggy mist disguised as denial. Yes, just enough denial to hide what lies ahead for we don’t want to know what lies ahead if we think it would hurt us, so we look for the good. We tell ourselves, if we can just stay focused on the good, maybe the bad will go away.
The road, like the relationship, eventually comes to an end and it’s time to say goodbye. Goodbyes can be quite painful, no matter which side you’re on. Let’s face it, goodbyes are never easy, especially when it feels like it’s forever.
Standing on the side of the road in what seems to be the middle of nowhere, we hear the rumble of thunder from the ominous clouds above. Within moments, it begins to rain and it’s timing is impeccable. Our heart feels the trembling of the storm within. Our tears and the raindrops become interchangeable. No one can tell we’re in pain.
When will the sun come out again? Will our hearts ever heal? When will it stop hurting, we ask ourselves. Only time will tell. In the meantime, we forge the road ahead with courage and a healthy curiosity for what life will hand us next.
Every relationship will go through different seasons. True love has the capacity to endure the changes in the weather. It is the very changing of the seasons we struggle with. We get stuck in the summer or winter of our love and forget that for everything there is a time, a season and a reason.
Stand in the truth of who you are, for it is there you will find your strength. It is there you will find your peace. And it is there you will find your way back home.
We will all take this trip. We will love, we will be loved, and we will at some point be hurt by love. The blessing comes from being grateful for the opportunity to have someone to love in the first place. And in that loving, we realize that giving someone our love is never an assurance that they will love us back. We learn to not expect love in return and whether or not love grows in another’s heart, we are content knowing love grew in ours.
Janice Hoffman
Copyright 2002